somewhere out there..

3rd

2012-01-10T11:07:00.000+08:00

Bistro Cascata, Cyberview Lodge Resort and Spa - annual anniversary dinner venue
moonlit night
kobe wagyu beef
complimentary anniversary cake and special, candlelit dinner table

love lop eared bunnies!!!

disney

2012-01-03T11:39:00.002+08:00

benefits of having a relative working in disney

vacay

2011-11-22T15:30:00.001+08:00

i hesitate before posting anything. Sometimes i feel like saying a lot of things. Sometimes, i look at the link in my Favourites link list and look beyond the somewhere out there.

then i suppose i should record down significant moments. Though i've already done it in writing for my personal reference, it'd be nice to share it on the WWW too.

yeah, like the Yankees call it, i went for a vacay. One year in planning. One word to describe it is Grace. God's grace to be specific (whose else? :) )

'Cause by His grace...
we could still board the flight one year after purchase
we had free lodging for 3 nights and homecooked food
we didn't get into any accidents on the road and the both cars were quite fuel efficient
we had free rye bread for all our lunches in Tasmania
we didn't kill any wild animals on the road (there were many roadkills)
we met / saw animals in the wild like koala, wallaby, whales (!!!), kookaburra, echidna crossing the road and a wombat wandering out of its burrow though it was a warm afternoon
i trudged through a 2 1/2hour walk / hike around Dove Lake without incident
our luggage arrived safely all the time
all our rented accommodation was clean and safe (some cleaner than others)
we were blessed with good weather and though it rained at some parts, it did not hinder our travels
.
.
and most of all, this stretch of holiday was the longest time we've ever spent together. 24 hours in each other's face. Wasn't a big challenge, so thank God again. We've definitely learnt more about each other and we both really treasure this blessed time away from the norm.

People call it second honeymoon but i'd rather just think of it as time together. Don't really like labels. This trip was definitely different from a honeymoon cause in a honeymoon, everything's still so new and you're yet to be really comfortable with each other. And there is bound to be greater tension i think. Especially if we're trying very hard to please the other and aftraid to be completely honest so that nothing would "ruin" the honeymoon of a lifetime.

anyway, i look forward to many more of these trips together.. :)

Trolley

2011-09-08T09:04:00.001+08:00

i like pushing trolleys around. It's quite a fun experience :) i use the office trolley to carry the big bottles of water to our water dispenser whenever it runs out.

Maybe it's the joy of moving something from point A to point B in a quick fashion or the sound of the wheels as they turn.

Maybe it's just because it has wheels..who knows? :)

I like shopping carts too. Well, the ones that work, that is.

Found this uber cool shopping cart on google images. Fascinating! :D

"the wheels of the *trolley* goes round and round, round and round...."

rain

2011-08-22T13:28:00.000+08:00

1.19pm.
Rain again. Heavy one too.
On a Monday.

Heard it's snowing in NZ.

wish i was there :)

simply

2011-08-03T17:51:00.000+08:00

was asked an odd question recently (well, it sounded odd to me).

question: do you want an ipad or bicycle for your birthday?

me: huh?

versus

why is the question odd? because i thought i come across as the non-gadget kinda person. Though the thought of owning an ipad is intriguing and would likely make me look cool and i could play Angry Birds on it (kakaka!), i would think owning one would cause me greater stress.

Stress with regards to getting apps for it, maintaining it, and most of all, stress of not losing it or having it stolen or dropping it. Plus, it's not cheap to maintain it i think. To fully utilise it, it would cost, for sure. Especially with getting it hooked on to the great Web ;)

Live simply. i think that would include not being continually logged on to Twitter and responding / sending out tweets on the average of one every 10 minutes. I'd love to be connected to people - especially people i care about and wish to be part of their lives (and hopefully to positively influence) but i guess i (selfishly?) want to distance myself and not be over-burdened by it.

I suppose i'm stressed out enough thinking about how to manage the commitments i have and doing them well, instead of just getting them done. Including discipling and shepherding people. Man, that's the hardest. And the one i'm most fearful of because it's such an investment and i just feel tired.

Isaiah 40:31

it's a good reminder.

So, i'd prefer the bicycle - especially like the one in the photo because i used that to cycle to school (and every else i needed to go) since i was 11 until i got my mountainbike when i was 15. I loved the old bicycle. And the tall rubber trees i'd pass by every day and its silhouette against the sky.

Simple times.

grass

2011-05-26T12:58:00.000+08:00

we have a tiny piece of lawn in our home.
i enjoy snipping away at it. We've got carpet grass and cow grass and some other kind of grass i don't know how to identify. But majority is carpet grass. It was intentional cause i like carpet grass - it looks like a green carpet :) (duh..)

but i didn't realise carpet grass can grow rather thick. It doesn't grow tall, it grows dense. The more dense it is, the harder it is to cut. Compred to cow grass / the others that grows tall - those are easier to snip off. So the carpet just gets thicker and thicker.

If i'm hardworking, i'll cut the dense carpet grass. Else, it'd be Colin's job :) I'll do the easier bits. Doesn't help that our grass cutting shears are not good enough to cut the thick grass effectively.

When we were growing the grass, i had a made up mind that Colin will cut the grass. Not me. I'll do the inside of the house and he'll manage the outside. But these days, i enjoy sitting there snipping away. Rather therapeutic. Mindless work and a sense of accomplishment at the end. And you'd get some Vitamin D as well as strengthening the muscles of the forearms :)

Also, you'd never be able to finish the job. You can only cover so much at a time. Tomorrow, it grows a little taller. How resilent nature is.

If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! ~Luke 12:28~

rain

2011-05-03T15:00:00.000+08:00

after the rain, washes away the tears and all the pain
only after the rain, can you find true love again....
~ nelson ~
the singing twin duo with beautiful long blond hair that reminds me of a Lassie dog

It's been raining daily.
i like rain.
i like swimming in the pool when it rains.
i like seeing the rain drops on the sand in the beach.
i like the rain drops on my windscreen and i enjoy driving in the rain.

it's been raining and storming in people's lives too

we pray for the umbrella of love that'd shield us from hopelessness and loneliness

With Christ in the vessel we can smile at the storm, as we go sailing Home.
Let's stay in the boat till we get Home.

sarawak

2011-04-15T10:30:00.000+08:00

going to sibu, bintulu and miri - in 3 days. Covering distances equivalent from JB to Kedah (i was told).

in the midst of polling day too.

what timing.

don't know what to expect and don't really know what i'm to do there - other than being there with colin.

and see a long house.

Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done..

sibu town and rejang river. photo credit

dream

2011-02-25T14:54:00.000+08:00

a lot of time on my hands suddenly, so stumbled upon brides.com.

if i could plan my wedding again and cost is not a concern, i'd do these:

1. I'd still have a garden wedding but overlooking a huge lake / the sea. So, we'll get both greens and blues. Can be in Lake Wanaka or Lake Taupo or a backyard of a home in Sumner, Christchurch, NZ that looks out into the sea (why NZ? cause it's the country i can relate to and imagine, since i've not been to paris or maldives or the USA).

OR have it in the lavender fields...ala Bridestowe Estate in Tasmania, Aust. under it's big century-old oak tree. mmmmm....love lavender..

2. I would have a wedding cake like this one!!!!!!!!!!! yes, it's a real cake! SO COOL!!! Wonder how we'll eat it, but it's so cool!!!! (and of course, replace the names on the pot to "Colin and Guat Eu" - nice? i think so.. :D )

3. Have the reception in the garden with this iris bouquet as the centre piece. I love irises and this goes well with the blue and green theme..

4. Since it's outdoors, this is such an excellent (and oh-so-cost-friendly) idea of documenting our lives..instead of a computer slide show, we get a clothes-line pictorial stroll..

5. Such pretty cupcakes! to be served as desert or snack. It's real pansies on top.

6. For outdoors, this may be a bit too much decor but these hanging vine balls are so pretty!!! These would be lovely hanging over the arch for the exchange of vows ceremony. I'd possibly fit it with lavender flowers instead.

7. The adventure of being outdoors!! These hanging chairs are such a great idea! Easy lounging for the guests and their kids. I'd love to sit in them!

8. Pinwheels! Excellent again for the outdoors to catch the wind. These are actually table seatings. There're names on the pinwheels. And these are such fun for kids (and adults) to play with too..

9. The bridal bouquet.. :) again, lavender in the midst of it all. I love the colour! and the contrast it'd have on the dress.

10. I love my own wedding dress. But since this is a dream / fantasy wedding blog-post, i'd really like this Vera Wang gown. Still empire waist (which i love!) and simple tule skirt..love the green ribbon. A rather bohemian look. If i had hair like the model, i'd do it like that too. Love the whole look!

University

2011-02-18T10:25:00.000+08:00

Going back to UNITEN for 3 straight days and hanging around the university environment was a nice feeling. I like universities. I wouldn’t mind going back to uni just for the experience again. Yet, I know it’d be different – due to age difference, and everything else. Still, the whole university “feel” creates a warm feel in my heart. The vast expanse of space and sky…mmm…hence I feel bad for those in university that’s housed in shoplots :P kinda sad lah – the entire university feel is lost somehow.

I was the pioneer group of a twinning programme established to kick start UNITEN. So it was the transition between a corporate training centre into a university. Quite drastic. It wasn’t even a college beforehand. I’m very grateful and know am very blessed to have been there. Though it lacked quite a bit of the normal university facilities, I loved the “old” feel of the place. It was already about 20 years old I think. The pine trees were tall and elegant and the buildings were made of rather rustic materials, not glass panels or stuff that are too smooth to be natural :P

It’s interesting to think about it now that we survived (rather, thrived!) for 3 years without even a proper library facility. Our NZ lecturers were lovely to have provided all we needed, I suppose.

Now, when I drive through UNITEN, it’s HUGE. Where I was before, it has turned back into the corporate training centre and the newer part is UNITEN. I’ve only lived in the actual UNITEN for half a year. I still preferred the older part – the hostels were the most interesting as it looked like 2 floors from the outside but there’re actually 4 floors indoors and a “dungeon” floor at the lowest level. All the hostels were surrounded by trees and it’s always cool and the top floor is surrounded by balcony that we would walk on to get from one room to another instead of the actual corridor.

Hostel Room

We were able to walk from one end of the place to the other. Now, no way. In the blistering heat, I’ll wilt before even half way. In the final ½ year here, it was a challenge walking to and from class to the new hostel. Now, there are sports facilities (with a POOL!!!) and many many many more high rise hostel buildings. Landscaping leaves much to be desired though – rather boring and plain. And the signage is horrid. Tiny ones and at significant junctions, none at all :P I miss the pine trees near the staff quarters where we could sit on the grass and look out to jungle and some hills and watch the sun set. Now, if we look out from there, it’d be the extension of UNITEN – just buildings and the highway.
UNITEN is even bigger than Lincoln University, my final year in NZ. We could walk from one end to another over there. There were newer buildings and old ones but all fit together rather well. There were also rows of cherry blossom trees that were a joy during spring. I wonder how the refurbished interior of the library looks like now.

Lincoln University Library

I love how we could just sit anywhere – on the grass, on the steps, on the floor.. Relaxed and the freedom to be whoever you want to be. Different culture from here I think – we sit on chairs. I don’t think it’s common to see students here to sit / sprawl on the floor, and what more on the grass – that’s likely due to the tropical weather.

I had contemplated to return to university – either to study again or to work in the library! Haha! Yes, my dream job is to be a librarian in an old looking library building with the most updated hi-tech library system or…. a bookstore owner ;P But bookstores are an endangered species nowadays. Anyway, I guess for now the fork in the road with the university signage is not the way to go. The good LORD knows and He cares, so His plans are the best..

My university years were the defining moments in my life. That’s another story..

swimming

2010-09-17T12:34:00.006+08:00

Dory from "Finding Nemo":

Just keep swimming,

Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming...

so yes, i've finally managed to learn how to swim. Latest achievement yesterday was to swim a total of 200m in an Olympic sized pool. I had multiple stops in between of course and stayed real close to the wall but, it was an achievement, nonetheless :)

so says my beloved coach-cum-husband

new skill also is learning how to thread water. the whole process of threading water is rather hilarious i thought. Couldn't stop laughing when i started to learn it. Just seems funny somehow. Even a little unnatural - like you're meant to sink but fighting and struggle to not sink.

I still panic though. Cause i lose out on stamina pretty quickly and if i'm in the deeper side, my brain blanks out a little and don't know what to do. Hence, staying close to the wall. I can't even thread water for very long, so i guess that doesn't add much to my confidence level.

Nonetheless, my coach is pretty confident i'll get it soon. I started learning properly only early this year, so i have made good progress - especially mentally. I'm learning not to look down, seeing the depth of the deep and instead to look forward and see the end point.

I'm pretty gung-ho to practice more too. Cause i wanna get it and it's more fun than jogging / walking :P Main plus point is that you don't feel all sweaty and sticky! hahaha!

lots more to improve but i'm thankful for the progress so far.

yay :D

twilight

2010-08-26T11:08:00.002+08:00

Yes, i've been reading about vampires. Well, not really vampires per se but more of teenage romances. The writer is about 1 year older than me. And she's got 4 books published with movie rights etc and is a multi millionaire :) Used to be a stay home mom. Quite inspirational.

The books are an easy read and i go through them pretty quickly. I enjoy the "other" parts, download-able from the author's site. Where she writes from different perspectives and allows us to read the drafts which never made it to print. i like those much more because it's unedited. Raw. It shows the author's character a little more and the love / passion she feels about the story. It's not business-like, not about the money, it's the love for the characters and the story. I enjoy that.

i thought to myself, why am i wanting to read the next books (book 3 and 4 which i have not gotten my hands on yet)? it's not so much of its literature greatness. It's more because it's a love story. haha! and it's set in the fantasy realm. I'm usually leaning towards the romance - fantasy side. It's been awhile since i've read any romance related stuff. And this series is nice cause no foul languages, no sex scenes.. just nice.

a pleasant read. Thank you Wen Min, for lending me the books :)

discipline

2010-05-14T09:43:00.004+08:00

or disciple?

usually i need to think twice before i spell that cause it's so close. finally managed to spell "diarrhoea". haha! even so, i need to think twice before i get it right.

Anyway, discipline in what?
All things?

is it okay to be haphazard? order in the midst of mess? I wonder.. Does it always have to be black or white? Can grey also have different shades? Someone's black is another man's white.
in my mind and heart, it's "yes" to the above Qs.

Jesus healed a man on a Sabbath day. That's ok. It is "work" in the sense that something was done. But i guess it boils down to the principle of the Sabbath and what it means to keep it holy. Do we still keep Sabbaths? how strictly? Ministry work is considered work if your salary pay comes from the church or it's "God's work" for those who are paid by corporations, hence, it's ok to "work" on the Sabbath? Ministry work never ends right? Follows you all the way to the home and into your dreams. So, what does Sabbath mean for a person like that?

I wonder.

i was reminded of my waking dream of a house by the sea and spending the day reading on the patio. I wrote about it once in my other xanga blog and i remembered Markus commenting that it was his dream too :) i wonder if that dream is true for him now. Meanwhile, i'm still in PJ with traffic jams and clogged drains. But there are beautiful sunsets still and lovely skies at times and wonderful trees in between the Taman Jaya and Universiti LRT stations. To be content in all circumstances. Dare I go against God's will? it's a humbling experience when i do. Then again, i wonder if those humbling experiences ARE in God's will cause the trial will / should create in me perseverance, character, etc. etc. to make me complete (James 1) :D

ramblings ramblings...

triggered by a humbling experience yesterday for taking an interview lightly and not being prepared. Made me think if indeed this is really what i wanna do. Rat race, corporate race, whatever race is not me. I guess hence, where i am suits me well cause there isn't much of a race here! ;) God knew it better than me cause 11 years ago, i really didn't want to be in the utility. But He's placed me here and it's for the better, that i know, 11 years since.

"Where do i see myself in 10 years time?" Standard interview question which (as i said) i was not prepared for. So i made up something on the spot which clearly was made up and at the end of the day, i felt bad to have wasted the interviewers' time. Unprofessional and goes against what i believe in. I was unprepared because i was doing it just for fun and to see how it'd go. it's a bad reason. Made me think now what kind of impression i had made on these people who are actually in the same division as I am.

Like a slow suicidial poison.

So, where do i see myself in the next 10 years? Colin said, "happily married". haha! Yes, i pray so :) other details?

home-maker? hmm...
Potential senior manager in dunno where? hmm...
librarian? hmm....
administrator? hmm....

reading on the patio with Markus? hmm....

Old

2010-04-23T14:55:00.006+08:00

I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
Oh, all I wanna do is grow old with you

I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you

I'll miss you
Kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold

Need you
Feed you
Even let ya hold the remote control

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink
I could be the man who grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you

Lyrics by Adam Sandler in the movie "The Wedding Singer" (youtube)

Picture by Gemma Collier. Source: National Geographic

Caption to the picture by Gemma Collier

"September 8, 2009. My grandfather was born and raised in our New Zealand farm. He and my grandmother were married nearly 60 years. Preparing for a photo in the barley, my grandmother lovingly reached up to adjust his hat. This was his last harvest."

differences

2010-02-22T14:03:00.005+08:00

i snack. he eats square meals.

i clean. he gardens.

i prefer tomato based pasta. he's faithful to the carbonara.

i brush. he Listerine's.

i prefer the mattress. he prefers the floor.

i speed on city roads. he drives faster on highways.

i'm reserved. he's comfortable in public and is a people person.

i moisterise. he does not (until i apply it on him, that is)

i prefer lamb. he likes beef.

he's disciplined and proper. i'm a crazy 5-year-old with candy floss.

he's a sports man. i'm the spectator.

love is an amazing thing. It binds people together, no matter the differences and preferences. It's invisible, and sort of like on a different dimension. Spiritual, you can call it. You can't really put a finger on it (though we try to put a date to it). It transcends all that's tangible and even reasonable.

"By day, the LORD directs his love,
at night, his song is with me -
a prayer to the God of my life"
Psalm 42:8

My beloved is mine and I am his
Songs of Songs 2:6 (KJV)

honk

2010-01-26T11:18:00.003+08:00

Colin and I were talking about the difference between honking in Indonesia & India compared to Malaysia.

Indon & India: perpetual honks but are pleasant sounding; they are basically saying "hello! i'm here!" "look out!"

Malaysia: usually happens during traffic jams or someone not exercising courtesy on the road (which is pretty common); their honks would sound really angry and mean "GET OUT OF MY WAY!" "You don't know how to drive-ah??"

Malaysian honks just sounds rude and angry. Somehow the honks in Indonesia (i was in Yogyakarta last week) seems more subdued and pleasant.

Another lesson in cultural differences :)

Here's the main road in Yogyakarta from the airport to our hotel.

I was there for work, of course.. this is the photo with us all looking quite official (except me lah.. thought i'd be traditional and wear baju kurung instead of the "western" look. I was the only one wearing anything traditional. Everyone else was in suits, even the women).

Met a sweet Philipino grandma in the welcome dinner :D

I'm to call her Tita Ana - "Tita" means auntie.

She's there accompanying her husband and she's so sweet! (have i said that before? :)) She shared that she'd prayed she'd meet a friend in this foreign land, and there i was! haha! God answers prayers..

on my free day, i visited one of the Seven Wonders of the world - the Borobodur Temple. Made in the 700s. It's a Buddhist temple, if you didn't know. I didn't know it was one of the 7 Wonders till i did an internet search before i arrived in Yogyakarta.

my feeling visiting it? okay lah :) no spiritual significance to me but i admire the time and effort and meticulousness needed to make that thing. it was massive but i wasn't in awe of it. I was more in awe of the natural beauty in the hotel swimming pool area.. ;)

anyway, i thank God for the experience and the luxurious travelling arrangements that came with it.

which of the other 6 wonders should i visit next? hmm...

magic

2009-11-17T16:28:00.004+08:00

Welcome to Kepong Gospel Chapel Sunday School Prize Giving Day :)

First up, presentations from the children..

Std 1 and 2 (the cutest!)

And Moses crosses the red sea

while the Egyptians get swallowed up by the waters :)

Here comes Uncle Colin Wong playing a game of "guess where the water went?"

oppss... ?? where did it go?

Next up, let's make the sheep "disappear"

After the volunteer shepherd easily found the sheep (which was just thrown to the stage), Uncle Colin then speaks about the Good Shepherd who went His way to find the lost sheep.

Once we, the wandering sheep, are found, our hearts are restored and we find our home in the Shepherd's arms of love.

The End

XYZ

2009-10-15T13:18:00.002+08:00

thought this was cool..
lunch time, so trying this out :)

ABC's of me..

A - Age: 33
B - Bed: queen size black in colour.. not talking about mattress right?
C - Chore you hate: cleaning door / window grills & digging hair out of the drainage hole
D - Dogs or Cats: dogs
E - Essential start to your day: having the motivation to get out of bed
F - Favourite colour: purple, green, happy colours
G - Gold or Silver: errr.. platinum! hahaha!
H - Height: 164cm
I - Instruments you play: used to play the piano.
J - Job Title: Manager
K - Kid(s): everyone at YF ;)
L - Loud or Quiet: Quiet is first preference. Loud when i need to be.
M - Mom's name: Sau Wah
N - Nickname: Bee, Guatie, Guatz
O - Overnight hospital stay: at least 4 separate times.
P - Pet Peeve: People on the road who take shortcuts just to cut queue
Q - Quote from a movie: "..always looking to the horizon.. Never at where you are, what you are doing! Adventure..heh! Excitement...heh! A jedi craves not these things. You are reckless!" Yoda from Empire Strikes Back.
R - Right of left-handed: Right
S - Siblings: 1 brother and 1 sister.
T - T for: Time
U- Underwear: all the time
V - Vegetable you dislike: Don't know the name but a chinese leafy vege that tastes weird. Colin will know, cause he likes it :P
W - Ways you run late: procrastinating and waiting till the last available minute before i leave home / head towards wherever i'm supposed to go
X - X-rays you've had: dental, chest.
Y - Yummy food you make: Pasta (sauce from bottles / cans ;) )
Z - Zoo favourite: giraffe!!

th..th..that's all folks!

rain

2009-09-17T13:59:00.003+08:00

now watching the rain fall from outside my office window. I'm very blessed to have a wall that's completely "window". And it's the kind of rain that's not too heavy (i.e. dark thunderstorm kind like last evening) nor sunny.

Nice and gloomy :)

appeals to my melancholic side. I love watching raindrops on window panes / glass. Some can say it's romantic i guess, but what's so romantic about it i'm not sure. Maybe it's cause it's usually cold / chilly when it rains so the expectation is that one is to cuddle to be warm? hmm.. anyway, just a theory.. this is assuming that there is SOMEONE to cuddle with. haha! if not, just hug yourself i guess :P

Also the power and terror of a thunderstorm is pretty amazing. The swaying trees, the loud smashing sounds as the drops hit the road / roof / car / whatever. It's nice to stay indoors and listen and watch nature play out. And be amazed by it. And feeling thankful for shelter. Like yesterday evening, it was pouring and though my shoes and skirt was all wet by the time i got home, it was a nice experience nonetheless to walk in the rain. Colin walked in the rain too - without an umbrella :-/ completely soaked.

again, it's pretty romantic to walk in the rain right? or kiss in the rain or dance in the rain. haha! too many romantic movies. We wouldn't be thinking that if we've never seen a kiss in the rain scene on tv / movie. Right? ahhh.. so molded by the fantasy world of movies.

I remember the 1990's song by Nelson (the duo of twin brothers with beautiful long blond hair) called "After the Rain". I always remember the lyrics of the chorus:

After the rain, washes away the tears and all the pain,
Only after the rain, can you find true love againnnnnn

oh, rain's stopped. Back to work.

truth

2009-09-05T13:19:00.002+08:00

Don't ask me why Andy Lau's pic is here or why am i talking about him.. the idea just occured to me when i read the newspaper today and saw him make a statement on TV yesterday about him and Carol Chu.

They got married last year in Las Vegas (why there of all places???) cause they needed to be married to be artificially inseminated to get a kid in HK. Valid reason.

But why lie about it?

Okay la, Carol didn't want the publicity etc. etc. But hey, you know you're dating one of the Four Heavenly Kings, right? How can you NOT avoid publicity?

Andy and Carol should go for a media relations workshop. First thing they tell you is TELL THE TRUTH. Simple as that. You might not need to give all details, but just tell the truth. It'd save you from future embarrassment and the need to apologise and would in fact be more effective in protecting your family and loved ones, which you said was your intention to lie.

hmm.. lesson to all: lying doesn't protect you - at all. Can only give you temporary respite, but that's it. It'd blow up in your face eventually and then you'd have to do disaster recovery.

Maybe Andy and Carol need to hire new publicists. Then again, some say negative publicity is still publicity. Oh well, to each his own.

No, i'm not an Andy Lau fanatic.. i do like his looks though. Anyway, just wanted to share my thoughts on it and to state that telling the truth is still the best way to go.

All the best to Andy and Carol - hope you'd get your kids soon, and condolences to Carol for the passing of your father..

cough cough splutter splutter.. ugh.. sick again :-/

therapeutic

2009-07-27T11:56:00.002+08:00

cleaning and organising stuff at home is quite enjoyable. Can say it's therapeutic. Stress releaser? well, more of i get less stress when i know things are organised and clean. haha!

I don't know when it started but i'd usually have all my stuff organised and kept away those stuff that are not for everyday use. And ready to "move" at any time. Maybe it started in college when we have to move every semester - pack up everything and move back to hometown whenever there's a long break.

And when i started working, i was living out of a suitcase / luggage bag. So, things were usually in neat places so that it won't be difficult to pack and unpack and less risk of losing things. But there's still the occasional situation of "where did i pack that to?" Especially some small thing / something i hardly ever use.

When we moved to our current place after the wedding, my packing was pretty organised. Hence, the unpacking was also very fast. I like packing times cause i get to run through all my stuff and get rid of stuff i don't need anymore. Less baggage the better. I don't like to lug a lot of things around. I'm not really into "let's keep that JUST IN CASE we need it". If the likelihood of 'needing' the item is very low, out it goes :)

It took me much longer to sort out Colin's stuff though :P He'd just pack everything up and move them from point A to point B. No such thing as filtering / clearing unused stuff. Got la a bit (give some credit la.. :) ) but there were still expired medication, old stuff, etc. etc. I guess he doesn't like packing. Other than packing to go for a dive trip ;) anyway...

Colin calls me the Home Minister. Who else to do it right? :D still, i enjoy it and thank God for that. It's nice to make it home. Maybe it's the control freak in me - to be able to control all that happens in the house, knowing where everything is, deciding what to do with decor & maximising space, etc. Sense of power and achievement. Hence, self-actualization. haha! What is it, Maslow's theory? something like that.

Home reflects the people living in it. Like how clothes reflect the person's personality. You can be those that tries hard to keep up with the styles of the moment, or be comfortable with your own style & preferences. If / when you enter our home, it's pretty simple and practical. I like how our hall furniture are pretty mobile. It's relatively clean - i thank God it's not too difficult to keep it that way. Right now, it's my only form of exercise - the sweeping and mopping :) And the killing of ants :P They keep coming back in the kitchen area, depending on what's in our garbage.

Though i have stuff kept away in boxes etc., I'm not so much in a "moving" mode right now. I guess this is not as temporary as the other places I've lived in. Yet, i still always have the sense that this is not permanent. Gotta do with the "aliens and strangers of this world" principle :) Plus, am praying for wisdom to number my days aright (Ps. 90).

i should take some photos of the home and post it up. But then again, who'd wanna see it right? haha! might as well just come over. anyway...

30

2009-07-06T14:35:00.006+08:00

happy birthday to you!!

After the crash-boom-bang of Transformers, we had an early dinner at Chilli's. Our annual birthday visit there. Maybe we should try something else next year; anyway, it's still okay but ambience not as great i think. A little too crowded.

Nonetheless, it was lovely to be able to spend time together and to review the 30 years the LORD has blessed him with. I'm very thankful for the LORD to have blessed me with a reflective husband whose heart is ever wiling for Him to mold and teach.

So, after shopping in Jusco, we headed home and it's opening pressie time!

wah lah! yes, he's gonna be smelling quite fruity after his showers ;)

birthday celebrations continued the next day in mentakab. I love the simple pandan layered cake his parents got. Lovely to eat..

...or "kill"?

this is dad..

this is bro...

this is us..

going-concern

2009-05-17T16:13:00.002+08:00

After being ill for awhile - let's see, how long? technically, a little over a month since diagnosis, but effectively about 2 months - one's mind tend to lean towards the thought that this is gonna be permanent.

God, our creator, has put in us the sense of eternity. That sense of permanence. Eternity.

Eternity is permanence right? Forever.

Just occured to me that is why the first principle of accounting we learn is of Going Concern. We assume the business is going to go on forever. No one really wants something to end pre-maturely, especially if you're in it to make money or even as an organisation striving for a good cause.

So, i had a thought today that was pretty real. This illness seems permanent. I had the feeling that this is all there is. Everyday, it's gonna be like this.

Of course, realistically, i know it is not since i'm on powder-ful medication and i know the healing process is just a long one (technically, 6 months) and it's not life-threatening. Hence, i'm not depressed. I'm not without hope.

It was just a thought.

I recall my mother's question to my father in her last weeks, "When will i get better?" Did she have hope or was it just a plea for assurance? I wonder.

I thought i was getting better. I tell people I'm sort of okay. Many do not know it's a rather long process, but i wouldn't have either cause i knew nuts about TB before this. Valid, cause the general thought is that it's already eradicated here. Like malaria.

The fevers are coming back. I don't know why - maybe it's because i started work this week and went back to teaching in bsf. Maybe it's always been there in the previous weeks just that because i was relaxing at home, i didn't really notice it. Or it was milder.

Ignorance is bliss, truly. I know i'm having the fevers cause i got myself a thermometer :)
But then again, i got a thermometer cause i could feel the symptoms of the fevers :P

so how? :)

see doctor lor... i'm thankful to God for the doctor assigned to my case that he's very understanding and very open. I hope to get more medical leave after i see him tomorrow. Just to rest more at home and build up the immune system some more. I walk up two flights of stairs and i'd be puffing away and must sit down.

I wonder if going back to work last week was a bad idea. I have started picking up the outstanding things to do and then now i'd have to leave them again. And there's really no one to pick it up again, other than my boss and i feel sorry for that. My other colleague is ill for a long period too, unfortunately, and so my boss literally has no one in that unit. Kinda sad..

of course, this is assuming i get the medical leave. We'll see..

just took my temperature and it's slightly above 38. That was quite normal during the initial stage. hmm... should i take panadol or not? I'll wait till 5pm-ish cause one 500mg panadol will last about 5 to 6 hours. Then, it'd be time to sleep already :) by morning, i'd be normal. yeah, i had all that calculated when i was having daily fevers before the diagnosis..

TB

2009-04-29T20:22:00.002+08:00

Yeah, i got TB. Apparently, it's been there in my lungs about a month or more before I got diagnosed on April 14th. So, i had been going around at work and church and with friends with tuberculosis in my lungs and coughing it out into the air. Something to wrap your mind around.

A few things to really praise God for are:
1. my husband is free from it

2. friends and family and colleagues are free from it too

3. minimal side effects from the medication (which is pretty strong, i'm told. My empty stomach gets a short burning feeling after i take them)

4. from recent appointment with doc, my liver is okay

5. colleagues at work are open minded and though some were initially concerned about contracting it too, most are genuinely caring and would actually like to see me back in the office again

6. abundant time to sleep, sit, read and do the stuff i've always wanted to do at home but never had the time.

What are the lessons that i've learnt thus far?

i. Need to just stop and listen to God. To love Him and be loved. Listen and obey. Love and Enjoy. Simple as that.

ii. TB can actually affect any organ in our bodies. Another praise item - thank God it's in my lungs; thus, it was easy to diagnose.

iii. Use a slimmer pillow to sleep on - eases the breathing and lessens the cough

iv. A strong immune system is vital. I had been ill (on-off) since December 2008. So, i was already in the high risk category to "catch" anything foreign in the air.

v. Blood is always thicker. Family is family. Now got in-laws too. I'm glad :)

vi. Humbled by the generosity of some who would bring fresh chicken soup everyday for at least 5 days, buy rice and lauk, boil soup, bring fruits and even biscuits.

So, i'm leaving everything to God and take these weeks to rest and hibernate at home.

ok, i'm tired already. Switching off.

wrapped

2009-03-23T12:39:00.000+08:00

at office

scraf on

socks on

jacket on

still chilly

sigh..

2009-02-24T16:25:00.002+08:00

i'm reading and catching up with blogs rather than working..

sigh..

when there is much to do, even more so i don't wanna do it..

sigh..

still think of Markus & all the emotions that goes with it..

sigh...

so many needs around us and we've only got two hands and 24 hours..

sigh...

elaine's leaving soon. will miss her heaps..

sigh...

strange

2009-02-05T11:44:00.005+08:00

it's a weird feeling - sad and happy. Does it really mix? is it like oil and water?
Wonder what Markus would say to that..
With his quirky smile and twinkle in his eye whenever he was about to say a joke / dry sarcasm / doing something he knows it's not the "proper" thing to do :)

I'd be going to Bali tomorrow for my honeymoon. We've been looking forward to it for a long time. I checked the weather forecast and it was cloudy and stormy. No sunny, beachy honeymoon i guess. Well, the beach is there lah, it doesn't really change like the weather.

I don't really want the weather to reflect my mood or vice versa. Hence, i WANT to enjoy my honeymoon - though i miss Markus and will want him to see the honeymoon photos after that.
I do want to enjoy my time with my husband though at the back of my head, i know i won't get teased by Markus anymore because Colin and I got together. Such a small world that Colin knew him when he was a little boy and how cute both he and Peter were.. And I knew them as youth - tall and lanky and full of ideals and jokes and musical talents and LOVELY bass voices.

One distinctive memory of Markus was in one of his summer hols here, i was driving him somewhere and we were at SS2/75 traffic lights. He noticed a man walking around rather aimlessly and seemed lost. We weren't sure if he was mentally challenged or not. But he doesn't seem too sure of himself or where he was. Markus toyed with the idea of going out to help him. I said, sure! So in the middle of the street, he got out of the car and went towards the man. I didn't see what happened cause the light turned green. So i drove off and made a round towards SS2 again to pick Markus up - wherever he may be. I can't remember if he had a phone at that time. Somehow, i found him and we "reunited" in the car. For the life of me, i can't remember what happened to that man / how exactly Markus helped him.
Nonetheless, the memory etched in my brain is that he got out of the car and helped. Without much hesitation (other than for oncoming traffic..)

That's Markus.

Brains and ideals that are too large and too fast for his physical body to catch up. Hence, he frequently overbooked himself.. :) The guy is so nice, it's not his nature to say no to people. Nope, he's not perfect. He knows it and has lamented many a time for his shortfalls and inadequacies. Nonetheless, his sincerity and deep love truly covers over a multitude of lame jokes, schedule errors, late nights, tongue-lashing, moody days..

I was so looking forward to serving with him in YF this year as he was to teach the Form 4 class. To see the footprints that he'll leave in the lives of the 16 year olds. Still, in the years he's been in YF and in and out of it in recent years, he's left footprints already. I remember his line at the Broga youth camp years ago as he urged his team members along: "let's walk with a greater sense of urgency!" hahahah! oh wow, that's Markus.

I couldn't breathe for a little while when Uncle Nic told me yesterday morning. I guess sudden passings are the worst. I'm glad there are others around me to mourn together. As i've told some others, i pray and hope that the impact he's had on our lives would spread exponentially because he's gone, and would positively impact SO MANY MORE compared to if he'd been given more years with us.

Like Jesus' three & a half short ministry years on earth. Now, believers in Jesus around the world.

So, i'll go to Bali tomorrow and will enjoy it with my husband, making memories for ourselves and LIVE.

Markus lived. And I'm glad.

Tribute to Markus

photos

2009-01-28T11:27:00.001+08:00

Paul,
just for you.. hahaha! :)
enjoy..

posing
wedding ceremony
wedding dinner
wedding people
wedding stills

3 January 2009

2009-01-19T16:20:00.005+08:00

Registration of marriage at PJGH.

Better than in the JPN office? yeah.. :)

Informal as it was, it was meaningful. Quite fun dressing up and getting ready.

Colin was dressed like he was going to the office. hehe..

oh well, the "benefits" of being female, we get to have more fun in dressing up.. :)

Arrived at 11am and it was all done by 11.20am. Quickie.

Then had nice family lunch in Amcorp Mall. First time in-laws met each other too. Odd, i know, but what to do when both sides do not reside in PJ/KL. Praise God for understanding & easy-going families :) that was cool..

My bro: "Wait! I object!"

But he's already signed two copies ;)

Blurred pic.. oh well.. that's everyone.

janice

2009-01-02T11:13:00.006+08:00

my OTHER niece, Janice, turned 3 on 29 Dec.. yeah, many dec babies in my family..

with the nanny.. eating the traditional red wine with mi sua (again!)

putting candles in her homemade cheese cake

mmm... YUM!!! (it REALLY was good! kudos to my sis-in-law)

her favourite hobby - cutting up pieces of paper

Happy birthday, Janice!

And a blessed new year to all!

and a very interesting Jan to us :)

kathy

2008-12-24T10:10:00.006+08:00

kathy, my older niece, became FIVE on 13 December..
Growing up now and can have more or less proper conversations with her. She even helped with the colouring of the wedding favours! Big girl already! :)

getting a haircut a day before the bday from grandma.. haha! look at her facial expression!

waiting for her traditional fu-chow bday meal of red wine chicken and mi sua..

still waiting..

Kong Kong entertains her...

ahh.. finally...

little sister loves it too!

sisters! :)

abode

2008-12-17T09:45:00.001+08:00

tired

2008-12-12T12:40:00.002+08:00

body ache

coughing phlegm

slow mind

... half a million things to do

no access to multiply, xanga, facebook or anything defined as "social network" from office connection. Wonder why blogspot is still ok.. strange.

TGIF, yet the weekend isn't any lighter :P

calendar

2008-10-31T16:38:00.004+08:00

i just flipped over the TNB calendar to turn to November & December.
The thought struck me that this is the last page for the year. No more for 2008.
Wow.

Took a moment to think about the time when i first put the calendar up and it was January. Very vague picture - could hardly recall but i do remember putting it up.

By the fact that the picture was vague shows that it was that long ago. Yet, does it really feel that long ago? I tell people that time flies and usually tell them at the beginning of the year, "... yeah, pretty soon, it'd be Christmas!" and soon, it WILL be Christmas!

hmm.. don't really know what to think. Another year spent. Not that it was unfruitful or regretful. Just melancholic that it is over (or soon to be over). Melancholic that i cannot actually remember EVERYTHING, just special moments and the recollections of emotions and dreams.

I wonder if time sort of stood still once you've passed 23 years of age. There isn't really any more "regular" milestones as one has experienced earlier - e.g. kindergarden, UPSR, PMR, SPM, graduating from college / uni, first job, etc. I can distinctively remember all those milestones..

Milestones after 23? it then differs with each person. Some get married by 25, have kids by 27, buy first house etc. I can't even remember when i got the car - not such a major milestone, i suppose.

Life just seemed to go on.. and on.. and on.. and on..

Years are marked by youth camps and the different camp t-shirts every year :D
Goes to show how long i've been in YF.. *brrr...* scary..

Years are also marked by the BSF books / topics covered. *brrrrrr....* even scarier to think that i've stuck by BSF leadership for so long!

So, what about 2008? meaningful, surely. Other than the fact that we've lived through 08.08.08 :) But also the year that i got engaged and the year I see restoration in lives close to me.

"Real healers are wounded" - Heard that from Bernard Hull on Thursday who got it from Henri J.M. Nouwen. Wonder how have i been wounded this year in order to be able to give healing to others? So much pain in the world and in people's lives. Very sad..

Been learning about Jesus and His crucifixion. How much dignity and love shown just by that act. He was wounded - very much so. Praise the LORD He is the Healer too.

"Jesus was a revolutionary, who did not become an extremist, since he did not offer an ideology, but Himself. He was also a mystic, who did not use his intimate relationship with God to avoid the social evils of his time, but shocked his milieu to the point of being executed as a rebel. In this sense he also remains for nuclear man the way to liberation and freedom." -The Wounded Healer, 1972, Henri J.M. Nouwen

Happy Halloween! (not that i celebrate it :P) and a blessed weekend, y'all

rings

2008-10-20T11:12:00.009+08:00

One ring to rule them all, one ring to find them, one ring to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them.

muahahahahhhaaahhahah!

yeah, the joke was to engrave our wedding rings with the above. Unfortunately, there isn't enough space to put all that in.

Saturday morning date was pretty fruitful i must say.. however, waking up at 4.40am and having all sorts of upsetting thoughts didn't help the first part of the morning. Made up my mind to not waste the day with my beloved since time is short and he's been away a lot lately.

Hence, the day became better after confession to God & seeking His strength, a comforting hug and some guava. We don't usually go to MidValley but Mr. Wong had wanted to do something different and yet again, managed to quietly surprise me. First thing he said, let's check out some rings. Excellent idea!! :D It's been on my "to-do" wedding list and it's time to seriously check rings out and this thing could only be done together.

1st shop - can't remember the name now. GoldHeart i think. But i remember the sales man's name - Derrick. haha! Very good in promoting the "Blue Collection" that they have. All imported from Japan. Hence, if we want a ring, it has to be ordered from Japan and would take 2 to 3 months. like wow! The special thing is that the platinum grade is 1000, compared to the usual 950 (what are they, you ask? well, we didn't know anything about that either but later found out that it's like the gold rating. 916 which is the common one or 999 (or is it 990??) for the pure but very soft gold). And the unique thing is the "blue" thingy on the inside of the ring. What is it exactly, i don't really know :P One pair we saw that was quite nice was priced at RM1899 --- EACH!! Well, platinum is more expensive and more rare than gold.

Derrick was pretty convincing about the advantages of platinum compared to white gold. Personally, i've already decided it's either white gold or platinum. I'm really not into yellow gold though i know it has excellent resale value and is a good investment. Keeping gold is way better than keeping cash in the bank. anyway, i digress...

Derrick served us some nice fragrant hot tea too! Man, that was lovely!! :D left the shop with such a happy feeling.. Based on what we saw there, the platinum rings were about RM800 more than a pair of white gold ones. Not very different huh?

Anyway, we continued on towards our quest for the one rings. Went to a few more shops and in some, you just KNOW there isn't anything there for you. Some sales people are also not very enthusiatic. Half of the stores do not sell platinum rings. Such is their rarity. Think there's not a very good market for that. As for white gold ones, some designs are rather odd. In the attempt to be different, in my opinion, they end up looking strange. One pair of rings had the words "Faith Hope Love" on them. like err... do i really want that? nope! I don't need to be reminded of these when it's already expected that the success of any relationship hangs on them.

In another shop, there was this nice Uncle that attended to us. He's the old school jeweler and it's so cute to hear him speak of "nowadays, people like design like this... last time it was like this..." etc. etc. It's great that he's still staying on in this business and craft as most of the sales people in jewelery shops seems to be really young.

As for Mr. Wong, he didn't really care what kind of design he was going to be wearing. Hence, I took on the responsibility to ensure that he got a nice suitable ring for himself. Some paired wedding bands looked nice for the female one but really too feminine for the male one. It's because they try to match the rings so look more "matching" lah, but it really doesn't look "male" enough for the guy's one. I don't want my man walking around with a girly ring!!! @_@

We took at break with lunch at Ninja Jones. SUCH an interesting place!!! the door opens with a push of a button - like so secretive, you know? And the waiter is dressed like a ninja!!! complete with socks and ninja shoes and face cover! so interesting... food was nice and warm and Mr. Wong loved his salmon. I enjoyed cooking the beef over a small charcoal pot. Unfortunately, the portions are not too large. They expect you to eat more i guess.

FINAL stop! The last jewelery shop in MidValley: Diamond & Platinum. First thing that caught my eyes was a fish diamond pendant that was really cleverly done. Anyway, we went to the wedding band section and saw what they have available. After looking at so many shops, you tend to get immune to the glitter and starts to get a little tired of it all, especially when nothing really has caught your fancy. I picked out one from the batch that didn't have a matching "male" ring. Likely the "male" one has been purchased and left the female one. According to Colin, my face registered a "this is it" look when i tried it. For me, i didn't notice. I know i liked it and it was really different in look. Even a little space-age-ish. That's me, i guess :) Both of us agreed it looked nice and different, and also delicate and sweet. And i found a "male" one for him too. No girly lines or diamond on it - just plain and simple with two vertical indentations since he's so tall. hahahah! :D I haven't seen any designs of vertical lines on the ones we've looked at so, to me, this was quite different too.

But the female one was too "square" for me. Hence, didn't get that one. So, i'm guilty of splitting a pair up and matching the "male" one to a single "female" one that apparently, no one had any interest in it before me. That made me feel for it even more..

Here's how the pair looks like (we just got the male (i.e. bigger) one):

i think the one i picked for myself is so "old" or odd that they didn't even have a picture of it!! On the receipt, there was a picture of his ring but not of mine. Sigh... Yeah, i'm that odd :P oh well, i'm glad nonetheless cause we both like it and it's ME.

Herewith lies another milestone of our lives. It is lovely to plant milestones together.

syawal

2008-09-24T09:11:00.010+08:00

raya coming, yay.. :)

applied for leave on Oct 3rd (friday) so got 3 days off work..

what to do? what to do?

take a Mentakab break and look-see where my

fiancé grew up and made waves

find wedding shoes :P

(more difficult than it sounds.

dunno why no nice beige/off-white

sandal-ish shoes around.

Off season is it? hmm...)

do weekly bsf preparations for school programme

finalise what i'm gonna say for Youth Sunday that weekend

sleep in

exercise?

hope to be able to sit down and just pray with earnest

(who is Earnest? why is he so important to be? ;) )

make memories

selamat menyambut aidilfitri. maaf zahir batin.

Unwell

2008-09-15T10:59:00.002+08:00

All day
Staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night
Hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something
Hold on
I'm feeling like I'm headed for a
Breakdown
I don't know why

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Me

Talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
I know
I know they've all been talking 'bout me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong
With me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow I've lost my mind

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be

I been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Hey, how I used to be
How I used to be, yeah
Well I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be

Matchbox 20

if I'm a little "off" lately, this is why..

clubs

2008-08-05T14:48:00.002+08:00

Q: have you ever visited a club / pub before?
me: yes.

Q: tell us about it.
me: why?

Q: *stares hard*
me: okay, okay.. man, i'm so compliant. My first visit to a club / pub was in college. I can't remember the name of it already. That was back in the late 90s. Don't think the clubs then are very different from now.

Q: Who did you go with?
me: some college friends. Safe friends :)

Q: safe?
me: haha! yeah, those that i know would not get me drunk and stuff me in a car and drive me to some God-forgotten place; the ones that i know will get me safely back to campus.

Q: what did you do there?
me: dance-lor, what else? :p had a drink of what i can't remember. Likely Vodka lime. Or some gin-tonic. Well, i was already above 18, so was pretty legal. Besides, bringing your own water bottle to a club just ain't right. haha!

Q: how was the music?
me: i think we purposely chose a club with relatively better music. There was still tecnho stuff which i abhor, but whenever the 80s came on, WOO-HOO! those are the best.. plus the ones in the early 90s.

Q: what kind of moves did you have?
me: moves? no moves lah! just do whatever la! watch other people and learn. But don't try too hard ;) "YMCA" are usually quite fun when everyone does it. I wonder if they still do that today.

Q: who did you dance with?
me: just friends. I don't dance with strangers. usually there'd be a group of us and it's nice to dance in a group rather than one to one. Got lah, one-to-one once in awhile but i still prefer in a group. I guess if it's your bf / gf, then ok to stick to each other like glue but it's still more fun in a group.

Q: what's the craziest thing you've done in a club?
me: dunno lah.. i'm pretty safe.

Q: what do you like about clubbing?
me: Friends. And opportunity to just dance without caring if it looks weird and enjoy the music - IF there is good music.

Q: So, bad music would mean a bad clubbing experience?
me: yeah. It spoils everything.

Q: Anything you don't like about clubbing?
me: The smoke. ugh. You don't feel it as much when you're in it but once you get out of there, man! i don't like feeling like smoked chicken :p I liked it when we went out to a hotel-like club with a live band in NZ. I can still remember it was Shane who brought us. He was pretty surprised to find Christian girls who danced! hahaha! anyway, no smoke there. That was nice. But the energy is clearly different compared to a "club" club, you know?

Q: Yes, i understand.
me: oh!! there's more that i don't enjoy in clubs. The opportunity for people to get pissed drunk and lose control. People puking in toilets, pavements, needing support from others, talking nonsense, etc. Just sad la. Why wanna do that to yourself? I guess some people are searching for some form of release - freedom - that drunkeness gives but it's all only temporary. Spoils all the fun too, i think.

Q: What's the difference between Malaysian and overseas clubs / pubs?
me: I've only been to NZ ones. They are not very different, really. Some pubs are just pubs though. You know, places to hang out where there's beer and stuff. Almost like a restaurant. Those are nice. Went to one in Lake Taupo with Auntie Sam on her bday and tasted home-brewed NZ beer. Poor bartender had to deal with our incompetence and indecision in ordering beer :D hahaha!

Q: What would you say to young people today about clubbing?
me: Please be legal. Don't go when you're underaged. You don't wanna get raided and appear in the papers the next day with a black strip over your eyes. Having a police record at your age ain't fun either.
me: Please go with trustworthy friends.
me: Please tell someone where you're going and when you're expected home (even if you're gonna stay over in someone's place).

Q: you sound like my mother
me: do i? :) well, i'm okay with it. I'd rather be thought of as a nagging (but caring! :) ) mom than allow so much freedom to my 'children' to do whatever they want in hopes that they would discover things for themselves sooner or later. I don't think that principle works cause it's usually after much pain and loss that they learn their lessons. Worse still is when they don't learn.

Q: *getting bored; eyes looking around the room*
me: Bored ah? too bad lor.. ;) i'm a boring person.

Q: would you ever go to a club again?
me: if you invite me! hahaha! i don't mind actually but i'm far far more picky now. It HAS to have good music and gotta have good friends to go along with. My objective would be to hang out with friends and just have a good time -- not to show off latest fashion or make-up or pick up guys or check out the guys on the bar.

Q: Aren't you a little old?
me: AHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yes, i AM!!! Are there some uncles / aunties in clubs trying to be some 20 or 30 year old? i wonder lah.. Anyway, you're only as old as you want to be. Don't discount older people, okay? I believe they can shake and move WAY better than young, inexperienced yuppies like you.

Q: *thinks twice of ever inviting her to a club*
me: eh, very thristy already la, talk so much.. Let's go to a pub nearby and get a drink.

Q: eerr... i gotta go somewhere else.
me: oh, of course you do... What are you still doing here? Go lah!

Q: *scrams*

quotes

2008-07-06T13:02:00.003+08:00

things people say to you at a wedding 6 months before your own wedding:

"taking down notes on what to do?"
[more of what NOT to do :-P]

"why can't you get married next month while we're still around???"
[sorry, Christin.. :-P]

"make sure the groom knows how to put down your veil properly!"
[no veil for me.. :)]

"how're the preparations going?"
[nothing's happening so far :-P]

"i'm expecting another dinner soon, eh? *wink wink*
[ *to self* err... sorry, you're not in my guest list :-P]

"hearing the same questions being asked over and over today, eh?"
[yeah, thanks Linc.. :)]

snorkel

2008-06-06T16:13:00.002+08:00

yes, finally went snorkelling again in Sipadan, of all places! hahaha! THE best place to go snorkelling in (not that i've been to dive islands other than Tioman, but this is what people tell me and for the price paid to get there, it'd better be good!)

Of course, i did "test" snorkel in Mabul island too. With my faithful & patient "instructor", mr. wong ;) who held my hand almost through it all and helped me swim to the house reef area and back to the dive centre. I didn't have fins / flippers that time so had to just kick around and did whatever kind of froggie style kicks i could remember..

Mabul snorkel was good to get me used to breathing like Darth Vader and not to panic when i look underwater. I tense up when i am close to the corals cause i know i'm not supposed to touch them or stand on them. So, in trying to be careful, it's the time i get tensed. Anyway, mr. wong valiantly let go of my hand to let me snorkel away cause i'd be doing it on my own the next day in sipadan. Fiona has water-phobia. So she didn't join me.

so, what did i see in the water? quite a lot of stuff. Mostly fish like razor fish, a school of snappers, anemone fish, grouper, etc. etc. A lot la.. :)

But compared to Sipadan, the water is SO CLEAR! Visibility was amazing! Saw more fish and some quite large fellas. Even some sea cucumbers. But they are ugly :p sorry, can't really appreciate sea cucumbers. I don't even eat them.

One thing i liked about Sipadan is the deep end / drop off. There's nice sand and corals and all and only some distance away, there's NOTHING. The island just ends. From a cross section it looks like a mushroom. So there's like HEAPS of things under the top of the island. There are bouys that marks off the deep end so that folks won't go swimming off too far. It can be pretty scary to look down and see no bottom. Just deep deep blue. So, i just held on to the bouy lines and peeked. Didn't really dare to go any further. I know nothing will happen but i just didn't want to get myself into a panic situation.

So, by the time i was snorkelling in Sipadan, mr. wong said i was doing it like a pro! :D yay!!!! It sure helped that i had fins. Can move so much faster and easier. And by watching other snorkelers, i picked up tips on how to move about.

hence, i list herewith several tips for future snorkelers:
- have crew cut hair / wear some kind of hood or swimcap. I lost quite a bit of hair with it getting stuck between the mask and snorkel in the effort of making the mask really really tight so water won't go in.
- don't bend your head too low into the water. I did that a few times to get a closer look at things and water went in through the snorkel spout. :p i know, not very smart. Hence, Edvin the dive master said, "just take up diving!!"
- put sun block on the skin around upper arm area. I left that part out. Just lathered on a lot of sunblock on my shoulders and neck. But because my back was facing the sun as i snorkel, that part was exposed. My back was fine cause i had the life-jacket but it only covers so much.
- wear your fins when you are already floating in the water. All the sand gets stuck in between the feet and fin and it's uncomfortable. Plus, it's so difficult to walk with fins.
- wear your mask REAL REAL tight! Till you get mask lines on your face or you hear that "pop" sound when you test its tightness. It's not nice accidentally breathing in salt water. Praise God i got the hang of it after awhile to NOT breathe in through my nose and to wait till i surface to open the mask to let the water out.

:)

i had a wonderful experience learning all that. And seeing the beauty of God's creation underwater. Thank you, mr. wong, for being patient and even sacrificing several dives just so you can be there for me.

I will go snorkelling again, God willing, and hopefully, i get to see a turtle next time :)

photos
more photos

sunday

2008-05-11T17:15:00.002+08:00

and i'm here at home at the computer. Have been sending flowers and growing gifts in facebook and uploading photos. Why do it at home? cause i can't seem to do it at work. Connection too slow. Funny, right? since work place should be faster. Oh well.. And i've been on the computer since 2.00pm - i.e. 3 hours ago. Looking at people's blogs and feeding my fluff pet and other people's pets, etc. I think the computer takes up too much of our time. Well, my time at least... then why am i still here?

Yesterday got a call from somebody (dunno who and can't remember the name) from some co. (obviously i wasn't paying attention). All i heard was "make-up". huh? She asked if i was getting married next year. Like, how on earth does a stranger knows i'm getting married next year?? gee.. She continued to ask if i've engaged a makeup and hair stylish person and since i have difficulty lying, i said no. And she offered her services. *shock! horror!* :p what ELSE would she be offering? Anyway, she was to email her quotes and services to me to have a look. Okay lah, at least this phone call is not like the Fitness First / Celebrity Fitness kinda calls. I really don't like those and i STILL find difficulty in saying no to them. What more it's always when Colin's not around for me to pass the phone to so that HE can do the rejection :p But i'm getting better with credit card company phone calls. I'm better at saying no to them now. I wonder if it's better to give them the courtesy by letting them talk first and have them do their job before i tell them no, or to tell them no straight away so that they save time and can make other calls? Cause they are also trying to make a living, and that's just their job, you know? Not easy doing sales... Something i can never really do :p

I got a SmartTag as a gift from Kat Tan last week. So sweet.. think cause she wants to return the favour of me driving her home from BSF twice a week :) i'm fine with driving people around. A return favour to everyone else who drove me around when i was car-less. Anyway, yesterday was the 1st time i used the SmartTag and thank God it was quite early on a Saturday morning as there weren't that many cars. Of course no one had educated me on how to use it. I thought just hold it up to the windscreen and let it read right? nope, i need to hold the right side up so that it can read it. Hence, the bar didn't go up and i was stuck there trying to fiddle with it and reversing the car etc and the poor guy behind me had ANOTHER guy behind him so, we were all stuck in that lane and they were honking their horns :p thank God finally a PLUS employee came by and "teee-d" the Tag and the bar lifted. haha! I didn't panic thankfully cause i know it's a Saturday morning :) not peak hours on a Friday evening.. hehe..

What am i gonna do for the rest of the evening?
- shut down the computer
- read BSF notes
- read a book / the new bridal mag i just got
- maybe watch some tv or a cartoon DVD with my nieces (they are into "A Bug's Life" now. Great cartoon! "I'm the only stick with eyeballs!!!" LOL!!!)
- eat something for dinner
- pray a little
- sleep before the work week begins again

Sigh.. work week. Man, the weekend flies by. No wonder, if one sits at the comp for more than 3 hours :p i should go outside and get some sun. I'm already cooped up in air-conditioned rooms 5 days a week, 8 hours a day.

I'd better end before i ramble on some more and just become meaningless..

april

2008-04-17T12:08:00.009+08:00

its already April? gee.. It's pretty scary how time flies. Sometimes i wonder what do i do every day and how is one day different from another. My friend, Celya, says to be the best one can be every day - that's what it means to maximise the day. In whatever capacity, just be your best. And Carpe Diem - seize the day. Make the most of it.

here's some random facts about April from Wikipedia:

April is the fourth month of the year in the Gregorian Calendar. The derivation of the name (Latin Aprilis) is uncertain. The traditional etymology from the Latin aperire, "to open," in allusion to its being the season when trees and flowers begin to "open," is supported by comparison with the modern Greek use of ἁνοιξις (opening) for spring. The birthstone of April is the diamond or the sapphire. The birthflower is either the Daisy, Sweet Pea or the Tulip.
April starts on the same day of the week as July in all years.

interesting? :)

So, how is April interesting to date?
- nothing much happened on April Fool's Day. Outgrown that i suppose. A kid in BSF class tried to pull one on me but i didn't buy it. Once you've cried wolf too many times, it's harder to believe you the next time.

- Had another youth CG meeting on the first Friday of the month. The 2nd one this year. A discussion about Advertising. I thought the suggested ice-breaker was a cool game. I had fun finding brand slogans and getting others to guess the brand. "Always the smarter choice" - which brand is that? :) unfortunately the younger youth didn't get many of it. But then again, it could be fortunately -- means that they have not really been watching many advertisements. On the other hand, it could just mean that the adverts are not getting their message across. The standard youth brands which they could get immediately were "I'm Loving It", "Finger lickin' good", "Impossible is Nothing", "Just Do It".. Even the driving-aged youth can't guess the car brands: "Zoom zoom", "The ultimate driving machine", "_____. For life." :P

- Colin got a new car. He's still meticulously picking off the leaves that fall on it cause he parks it under a tree at work. It feels nice inside and definitely better than the old car (only if just by the mere fact that it's new). At least the 'new car smell' isn't too strong. And he now has a CD player in the car so he doesn't have to record the songs from the CD to empty tapes to play in the car anymore.

- SSGC had its Report Day on 13 April. Nothing much happened. Ivan made a good remark cause i wondered out loud during lunch time that we pay more attention to the air-conditioning in the sanctuary than the issues in each ministry. He said there are places without even fans! Still, we are thankful for all the LORD has done and blessed in SSGC. But there is much much more work to be done. Wonder how God will look at us and what kind of report would HE give us?

- Been having interesting conversations through Facebook with Celya. Her take on the very chinese dominated churches that we move around in and how it does not meet her needs. As well as sharing a poignant and simple memory of Uncle Bala (her dad) who passed away suddenly in April last year.

- Visited my god-daughters one Sunday. To see how much they've grown, play with them and have the opportunity to meet their other god-ma (who is actually Celya's cousin) and her boyfriend. Lovely couple :)

- Finished a two-day training course yesterday on peer counselling. The company wants to develop and deploy counsellors all over the company to counsel their peers or subordinates when / if the need arises. It's a good idea but the training could be tighter, i think. In the sense of creating more practice sessions because that's how one learns to counsel really. Practice. Knowing the theory is fine but doing it well is another thing. This course has 6 modules. The last two days was only Module 2. Apparently, there'll be a test in Module 3 to see if one qualifies :) would i pass??

hmm.. it's April 17th today. A little over the middle of the month. Wonder what else is in store :)

more?

2008-04-06T14:20:00.002+08:00

do i only blog when bad things happen? not really right?
sigh..

without meaning to, this is Part II to the previous post.

I'd like to record my sincerest condolences to Andrew's family & loved ones. He's the beloved friend of Ben Tay, Ben Yue, Jeff, Eugene, Henry, and many others. Tragically passed away early this morning.

Quite upsetting because of the suddenness of the accident (by definition :p) and just plan tragic. One of those things that one never expects to happen, nor wants to happen.

But it does anyway.

My only consolation, as I told Waiyee is that death has been overcome. Fearful as we are about death, it's only a door we are all to pass through. Death is punishment for sins, yes; hence it happens to all. But it's not final. It's what happens after that has eternal consequences. I'm glad Andrew believed in Jesus. I'm glad his eternity is secured. Though taken from this life at 20, his value does not diminish -- it doesn't go down to dust as his physical body. His more important part - his soul - LIVES because Jesus is ALIVE.

We often focus so much on Jesus' death on the cross that we spend less time on the fact that He is alive. As Jadeline called for the song "My Redeemer Lives" yesterday at YF, i pray that she and all of us know deep down what those 3 words really mean. Our Redeemer - Saviour - is ALIVE. Hence, we all live. Here on earth and the life hereafter.

So, my brothers - Ben T, Ben Y, Jeff, Eugene, Henry and all of the RVN and everyone else who knows Andrew or has had contact with him - be comforted in your grief. "lift up your eyes to the hills.. where does your help come from? your help comes from the LORD, the maker of heaven and earth.." (psalms 121)

One more thing - grieving. It doesn't really end, i feel. Celya (my closest friend), lost her dad suddenly a year ago. He didn't believe in Jesus. We still grieve his absence. She still misses him. Rightly so. I really have no words of comfort. Other than to pray and to remember him.

Time is short, is it not? So, as Elaine said, we are to sow the seeds of the gospel, of the fact the Jesus loves them - wherever and whenever. I remember my father, my brother, my sister in law, my nieces -- all who have yet to know Jesus personally. I know there's more to be done. I know they need to be challenged. I know i need to speak up & live the life as He calls me to. I know i can't keep the light under a bowl.

Knowing is one thing. Doing / Being is another.

passing

2008-02-24T22:02:00.003+08:00

"yeah, life got in the way."

i said that to Bee San many years ago, sitting along the church steps that leads to the upstairs worship hall. One of those days after service or we were waiting for something and we had nothing to do, so we chatted.

I was talking about how my sister had stopped going to church and sort of fell out of the whole Christian living scene when she started working and had to work weekends etc. etc. Life got in the way. And Bee San agreed. She was only a young Christian then.

I met her when Donald brought her to a church event in SS. She was a little shy/apprehensive as anyone would in a strange place and with strangers. I'm glad Donald kept bringing her to church and we got to know each other a little better.

I had forgotten how she accepted Christ when someone reminded me tonight that it was during an Adult Fellowship Camp and Su-Wen was talking to her and brought her to Christ. I can't even remember where that was or when :p

Still, i can remember distinctively two incidents when i think of Bee San. The above conversation, and another time when she had already been worshiping in Agape Chapel. I had gotten hold of a basketball. I can't even remember how i got it, but it was on loan. And i really wanted to play. But dunno who with :p somehow we got talking and i asked her to play at the half court behind SSGC in the middle of the afternoon, about 4pm. She was game. And because we had a party to go to at Auntie Audrey's home that day in the evening, we agreed that I'd shower in her home after the game. It was such a strange thing to be playing basketball after so long and with Bee San, of all people! :) Because we were early, we had the court to ourselves and we just shoot some hoops and had fun. Then the regular basketball guys started coming and we got into a game with them. Of course, being girls and not very good, the guys were very "kind"... i.e. non-aggresive. Though it was awkward, but oh well.. we really just wanted to play basketball and have fun :) and we did..

Oh, another thing i remember about Bee San was her yellow duck. It was actually a bath scrub thingy but it's really cute and it went everywhere with her. it was lovely to play with cuz it'd just flop about :)

I haven't seen nor talk to Bee San for a number of years. I can't even remember when's the last i've seen her. But it's always good to see her and we'd go "Hey" with an American-like accent and be glad to see each other, and hug. She was special. One of those people that i'd "click" with - just like that, without much effort.

It was pretty shocking when i found out in January that she's been fighting cancer for almost a year and it'd gone to the brain and it was pretty terminal already. I had thought of visiting her. But i don't know why I didn't. And I regret it now.

I didn't go to "see" her as she laid in her coffin today. Never enjoyed that. Though people say she looks like she's in peaceful sleep, but really, they never do look the same.

I'm sorry i didn't visit you, Bee San. I hope you know that i do love you and I'm glad our paths crossed. I'm glad you're no longer in pain and i look forward to seeing you soon. I hope you're having a good time with Jesus. I pray that through this bereavement, all members of your family will know Jesus personally and have that assured hope they'd see you again soon. Till then..

In loving memory of Chew Bee San

changes

2008-01-31T12:18:00.000+08:00

it's been anticipated for some time.

the interview in November... and the results in January. Well, here it is.

I've been transferred to another unit within the department. Business Continuity Management (BCM). Like huh? why?

I have very minimal experience in that and my background is accounting and finance.

Apparently, my GM who interviewed like 60 of us to fill up about 14 positions wanted me to get the promotion and because someone else with greater financial background is due for promotion, he is promoted into my unit and hence, i have to go someplace else. BCM was the most logical.

A colleague asked, "mixed feelings?" Yes, surely.. very very surprising. Because i knew i was getting the promotion (news leak) but everyone had assumed that i'd stay in my unit. My executive told me before, "don't you leave this unit!" hahaha!!

I don't really mind moving into BCM. Much more work and with a different boss and subordinate. Both are strong personalities. hmm... it'd be a challenge.

God answers prayers. I did pray for change, and He answered.

Another reason for the mixed feeling is that there is another executive who also applied for the BCM post and was already considered as "hers" because she's been in that unit for years. Instead, she's still where she is and i'm in it now. gee.. Thank God we've always been on good terms. I pray that this won't prejudice her against me.

One more change is that my GM is transferring out and a Sr. Manager is promoted to GM status. Like wow - THAT was totally unexpected. Thank God i'm on very good terms with the new GM. I feel for him 'cause he suddenly has all these responsibilities. We'll see what happens.

Yeap, 2008 is definitely different.

plans

2008-01-09T15:17:00.000+08:00

What is the best, time-tested way to plan for a wedding?

a. Hire a wedding planner

b. Do it yourself starting from at least 1 year before the wedding date

c. Leave it to the parents

d. Don't. Just elope

;)

interview

2007-12-27T12:14:00.000+08:00

Scene:

being interviewed by some interested magazine for their January 2008 issue (assuming i'm famous enough )

: Describe your 2007 for us

ge: it's cliched but it went by unbelievably quickly. Yet, being the old person that i am, i have recognised that time flies and i usually tell people "pretty soon, it'd be Christmas". And indeed, Christmas has come and gone just like that.

: What was most memorable in 2007?

ge: mmmm, spending another year with colin is memorable.. hehe! it's great to spend another year with him to get to know him better - quirks and all. Plus, to witness his amazing ability to be disciplined in walking with Jesus. Comes from the discipline ingrained into his being from all the sports and music he did as a kid. Other memorable stuff are the birth of my newest god-daughter, Aenishea Nadea Tay in July, going to the hot springs in Sg. Klah, Colin finally getting to NZ and seeing why i love it so much... :-), teaching the college class in church and stumbling through my new role in Youth Fellowship and SSGC YF winning the inter-church PJ Bible Quiz on Nehemiah! :-)

: Any down sides to 2007?

ge: yes.. there were many deaths in 2007. Especially the sudden ones. Celya's dad, Luanne's dad, Thomas' dad.. Those who had been sick for awhile like my maternal grandma, Swee Gim's mom & Joyce's mom. And my dad's best friend, Uncle Sunny. That was pretty sudden too. I guess it's not a "bad" thing for those who knew the LORD Jesus, but it's saddest when they do not and their time was up. I think it'd because i'm getting older, so i experience more people dying around me. The parents of my peers are aging and hence, the likelihood of death goes higher.

One other so called "down side" would be the few weeks whereby my closest friend had a crisis with the church and Jesus. It was very trying for me to see her struggle through it and feeling helpless to make matters easier or less painful. The experience proved to me more clearly the shortcomings of the church and the grave-ness of sin. Church is made up of broken people but it's worse when the broken people do not acknowledge that & instead tries to put up a front that all is well and hence unable to relate / connect with those who are hurting and in need.

: One of those lessons in life?

ge: My biggest real life lesson this year is to see that only Jesus matters. Though one may not go to church / is disillusioned, Jesus reaches out and still touches lives and still restores. I'm very comforted by that. And humbled. Humbled because I really cannot claim acknowledgement over ANYTHING i've done. It's all Jesus. And it's all for Jesus. And I'm humbled because i fear His power. I pride myself over my abilities that i do not allow His power to empower me. Afraid that i'd lose control. But isn't that called surrender? Isn't being in God's will and empowerment the best place to be?

: So are those your resolutions for 2008?

ge: I guess so, if you want to put a label on it. I don't really like to separate the years like that. I believe each day is new and there should be continuous improvements. There shouldn't be only certain high points in the year that we behave in certain ways and the other times, we're boringly "normal". As Phillip Lyn said, "to be supernaturally natural and naturally supernatural". I like that. Carpe Diem, you know? i love Dead Poets Society! We're all food for daffodils! hahaha!

: errr.. okay. I'm sure you'd still have some plans for 2008. Care to share with us?

ge: of course i care! *crazy look*

: @_@

ge: okay, okay.. seriously? hmm.. to basically continue in what God has called me to do and which i'll stop when He tells me to stop. Since He hasn't really said anything, i'll continue then.

: in?

ge: YF stuff, teaching the Bible to the youth and kids at BSF, going for the RBS mission week, hanging out with the youth.. I do hope to make more trips home to Sitiawan to spend time with my dad. And to continue at TNB. I believe there would be some changes to my working life in 2008 but i'm not sure what yet. We'll see.. i do thank God for His provisions at work which allows me to do all those "after work" activities *smiles*

: any plans for a wedding?

ge: oh, i believe i'll be helping Chun Keat and Tricia with their July wedding. hehe.. the entire YF is pretty excited over it!

: no, no, YOUR wedding...

ge: I'm getting married in the morning! Ding Dong! The bells are gonna chime! hahahaha! I love My Fair Lady too :D okay, okay, serious.. God willing, it'd be in 2009. We're still exploring options. And before you ask, no he didn't get down on one knee, displayed an 18-carat diamond ring and asked me to marry him. We discussed and agreed and that was it :-)

: What do you think about the much talked about coming general elections?

ge: hah? why ask me these kind of questions ley? aiyah, i dunno lah! eh, your time is up already right? thank you ah, thank you ah.. not free already lah.. got my fans waiting for me.. bye, bye ah? *flying kiss and quickly exits*

: *blur*

hometown

2007-11-19T16:09:00.000+08:00

i was born in a town called sitiawan in the state of Perak (or "silver" in Malay. I like that - "Silver". Such a stately name. Better than "Gold" :-P Hence i prefer silver than gold. Except for the fact that silver gets tarnished and becomes black :( so, alternatives are white gold and platinum. expensive... )

i drove back to Sitiawan two weekends ago in the faithful Kancil (aka Mousedeer). I haven't been back since February i think. 9 months ago. That's long. Driving long distance is pretty fun. Except for the hot afternoon sun :-p Thank God it wasn't so bad on the way home. Driving all the way without a radio or music accompaniment has its benefits. I had a hymn playing in my head as a result of the morning worship in church and so that tune just rang through my head on and on when i had nothing to think about. Other times, i'd be thinking about people and church and ministry and future and praying. I like praying when i'm travelling long distance. Because there is nothing else much to do. Of course if you're travelling with someone who is chatty, that's pretty difficult, or almost impossible. Since i was alone, praying while journeying somewhere is cool, and with that many hours to the destination, there is no hurry in talking to God.

Some parts of the coastal roads to Sitiawan were under construction. That slowed traffic down a little but because it was a Sunday, there were few big slow lorries. So didn't have to follow behind one in a narrow road with a double line for too long. In one section, it was double line for i dunno how many kilometres and i HAD to overtake some slow coaches. It was safe, of course..

The best part of the journey is almost at the end when suddenly the green wide paddy fields greet you. i hadn't anticipated it and it WOWed me when i came upon it. I had forgotten about the paddy fields. Spotted some white bangau. My favourite! it's just incredibly peaceful there and acres of paddy as far as the eye can see. Beautiful.

I got home safely, thank God. Took a night to get used to the changes at home. Dad is ok and happy. He's got friends and things to do to occupy him. Lots of the junk at home has been cleared out, given to people and sold at jumble sales. My mother had all these pots and pans and plates and bowls and cups and glasses... I do want to take over them but with no home of my own i've got nowhere to put them and i can't clutter my brother's house, it being full already as it is. Hopefully one day, i'll put them to use.

Drove around the town the next day to see the changes. All the main roads have a divider now. As a result, there are so many pedestrian bridges. Brand new. Looks nice of course but just gives it a strange feel for me. When i've been so used to crossing roads on my bicycle wherever and whenever I want and not needing to wait for traffic lights etc. Life was easier back then. I wonder how the schools and youth are like now. Still, it's good that there are still places i can park the car without having to pay parking. It used to be free EVERYWHERE.

On the day i left, i had wanted to buy kompiang. Sitiawan's famous oven-baked bread-like "biscuit". Don't really know how to describe it. My favourite is the savoury one with pieces of onion in it. Kompiang lasts forever. But most times, we finish eating them too fast to test that fact. Unfortunately, the good kompiang shop was closed. My dad said no point buying from another place cause it's not as good. That's how loyal we are. If it's not THAT kompiang shop, then it won't be any other. I didn't get to eat the fly infested Kampua Mee either. Oh well.. next time.

God is good and provided clear sunny weather for me to drive home. Just that it was a tad too hot and my air-cond isn't that cool. Anyway, i got smarter this time around and put my camera beside me to take photos while i was driving. Not wise nor safe, i know.. I'm just too lazy to stop the car to take pictures.. :) unless i'm in NZ and the weather's lovely..

So, here's one of the pedestrian bridges:

the paddy fields:

I like these trees. Very regal like and excellent natural fences. Reminds me of NZ: i love this windy stretch as well.. rolling hills of palm oil:

detox

2007-11-07T10:55:00.000+08:00

i had a natural detox today.

Woke up in the early morning with tummy ache and had diarrhea (or "diarrhoea" -- i ALWAYS have to double check the spelling for this :p) a few times. Must have been purging out the Hari Raya lunch I had in the office yesterday.

The Raya lunch was yum! lemang, rendang, impit, satay, grapes, muruku, chocolate cake, lontong, chocolate chip cookies.. i ate a small breakfast in anticipation of the lunch and only had a cup of Milo for dinner cause the lunch was so filling. I guess I "paid" for it early this morning.

This time it's not so bad. The other more drastic food poisoning times ended in the hospital for me.

While I was sitting there in the toilet, i thought that this is God's natural way of detoxing the body. Getting rid of impurities. Sistem Pencernaan. The Digestive System. It's amazing that God had thought of it when making humans. Why was there a need for it in the beginning when everything was perfect? Wouldn't all that is eaten be good for you and used up perfectly as energy for the body and for growth? Wouldn't it be the most efficient way?

(of course, all those questions are kinda irrelevant since God knew everything and so He'd know that we'd end up sinning and things AREN'T perfect. And there is the other argument that human wastes function as fertilizers, so in effect nothing is wasted)

Anyway... my point was that God has already instituted a natural detox system for all of us. This is in contrast to the aggressive advertising I've been seeing about a detox tea drink that one takes for 7 days to "cleanse" oneself and it is best to be done 3 - 4 times a year. And the testimonies of the people who had done it --- better skin/complexion, greater alertness, losing extra weight (yeah, shit weighs quite a bit @_@); overall, HEALTHIER.

and i'm thinking, God has already given us a natural detox mechanism. Why not use it? Eat more fibre (veges, grains, nuts, etc.), exercise regularly and sleep well. Why spend over RM70 for a 7-day tea drink?

Still, on the other hand, most people would have "accummulated" too much toxin already in their bodies that eating right and exercising now wouldn't help as much. Hence, thorough cleaning is necessary. Besides, it's only RM10 per day for seven days. RM10 is basically a lunch at McDs or Nasi Kandar Penang.

Confession: i actually pray that the LORD will remove the necessary toxins in my body. Reason being my mother had colon cancer. And it's not fun. It's possible that toxins created the abnormal growths. Hence, i'm trying to keep as free from toxins as possible.

gee.. after all that's been said, maybe i should get a hold of that tea. Especially after the Christmas / Chinese New Year binges..

port dickson - 20 Oct 2007

2007-10-30T12:23:00.001+08:00

from my limited 0.3 megapixel L6 Motorola phone and enhanced with Ifranview

the real thing was way better than these... regretted didn't bring my camera. Oh well, got me two eyes so that should be sufficient :)

guess who? ;)

weekend

2007-10-29T15:21:00.000+08:00

"Many are the plans in a man's heart but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails"
Proverbs 19:21

Indeed, it was planned for the past weekend to have the Youth Teachers' retreat at Port Dickson. I kept telling myself in the days leading towards it to "prepare! pray!" Yet, i never get around to it. I'd do the necessary administration stuff but not the spiritual side of it. I knew deep down I was unprepared.

On the Wednesday before the weekend at prayer meeting, I got Joyce's sms about her mom slipping into a coma. She was getting weaker by the day yet with an incredible fighting spirit, she hangs on. Sometimes i wonder how they continue to fight to live though they are not conscious. Are they consciously trying to stay alive and waiting for some important thing to happen before they "let go"? i know my grandma did - she struggled and waited and waited in her post-stroke, post-operation state till my brother got married. Though she couldn't attend the wedding, she did drink the tea. One week after the wedding, she passed away. But not without responding in her usual facial expression to me when I made a silly comment during my brother's wedding weekend. That was an incredible 2-second moment because she's been unable to give any kind of responses for awhile. For that one moment, she was Ah Ma again. Gee, i'm tearing up just reminiscing.. :p

When i realise that Joyce's mom may not hold out any longer and if she was to pass on soon, i was most willing to postpone the teachers retreat. And the next morning, Joyce smsed that her mom had passed away that morning.

Then a flurry of smses and phone calls happened. Informing people, postponing the retreat, arranging transport to go to Malacca.

In the midst of all that, i recognise the hand of God in it all. I am very humbled by His grace and how He orders things around for His glory. Indeed, nothing can thwart His plans & purposes. I am now trying to set another date for the retreat and more importantly preparing myself for it. This is His ministry. I am but an instrument but i won't make good music if i'm not properly cleaned and prepared. And He provided this past weekend time for me to reflect and just talk to Him.

We went to Malacca for the funeral on Saturday morning and made it just in time. Thank God for answering prayers. It's actually my first time attending a Christian funeral in a church and all the way to the cemetery. The whole thing reminded me of my mother's funeral over a year ago. I don't get emotional over it cause i just don't think about it. But when i do, memories return. I liked what the pastor said from 2 Timothy 4:17. Classic funeral verse i think. Fought the good fight, Kept the faith, Finished the race. I don't know what to say to the bereaved during funerals.. Colin says i don't have to say anything. i'm more afraid of saying the wrong thing.

After Malacca, we stayed over at PD for the night since we've already booked the place. Fook Ming had his mini family holiday and we - Elaine, Tee Yee, Dot, Sui Ling, me and colin had a beach weekend. Weather was lovely - sunny and the sea glistening. As a result, the sun set was beautiful. Colin said that it reminded him of Joyce's mom. Though the sun has set, the legacy it leaves behind - the majestic colours, the vastness of its reach - remains for a long while yet. The legacy of Joyce's mom is in her children and the many lives she has touched in her 57 years on earth.

That evening sitting on the beach and looking out to the horizon - that was good reflection time. I love doing that at beaches. No distractions. No hurry to move on and do the next thing on the list. And even the next morning before we had our mini worship service, it was lovely sitting on the porch of the bungalow, looking out to sea, and jotting it all down in my journal.

I thoroughly enjoyed the worship service - 8 adults and 1 child. We worshipped, sang songs, prayed, read from the Word and remembered Jesus. Though the "wine" was blue (never buy Marigold grape juice!), it's still as meaningful.

i hope the postponed retreat would indeed have given the other teachers & helpers some more time to prepare for it and allow God to work through us. I'm still in a blur on how to set directions & goals etc. I'm just not good that those things. Interesting that the Care & Share group study on Friday was about spiritual gifts and my QT reading on Sunday was on the same passage (1 Corinthians 12)! God trying to tell me something? I guess, that everyone is important and each has a role to play. So, it IS ok that i cannot do certain things. isn't it? ...

Though i didn't want the weekend to end, it did end. And now, it's Monday. Soon, it'd be 2008. Time sure flies. God remains immutable. Amen.

in loving memory of Heoe Chui Ping, beloved wife & mother

water

2007-10-19T08:47:00.000+08:00

my first snorkelling experience was in Tioman Island on 14 October 2007.

how should i describe it?

hmm...

there is a first time for everything and i believe it could have been better (so politically correct! :-P)

i guess (this is my most used phrase "i guess". man, i need to get updated...) it's because i'm not confident in the water and i still cannot swim. In spite of the fact that i've taken lessons. I sort of know the technique of the breast stroke but i can't breathe properly and i get panicky - which is the LAST thing one is to do while in the water.

So how?

i know i just need more practice and more experience in the water. sigh... timing is a factor.

anyway, back to snorkelling story.

i honestly had doubts that we were gonna do it cause the divers took longer than expected to dive the last site that day. Still, i was pretty happy just hanging out in the beach, under a shaded tree and reading C.S. Lewis' early life, looking up to the sky and the horizon and talking to God.

once the divers came back, off we went to the Berjaya jetty to rent the snorkels and life jacket. RM10 for as long as you wish. reasonable i guess - until i saw another sign the next day where it was RM8 for a whole day. hmph.

this snorkelling experience was simply just jump off the jetty and start snorkelling. like - huh? oh well, it's cheaper than hiring a boat and going out to sea. Besides it was already past 6pm and it'd get dark soon.

As usual, the life jacket takes awhile to put on - what with all the buckles and straps that goes around and under and on and on. Being unable to swim or thread water, getting strapped on well was priority. I trusted the life jacket and knew that i wouldn't drown. I just want to make sure, you know?

The mask was another thing. Trying to make it not too tight, learning how to wear it over my nose, fearing that it's not tight enough cause then water goes in, learning how to bite on the mouthpiece, blowing it to get excess water out, etc.

so, yeah, by the time i did get into the water, some time has passed :-P

And jumping into the sea unprepared of the salt water made me choke. Ugh.. Gee, the picture so far hasn't been very appealing eh?

it was another struggle in the water -- which is the biggest one : learning how to breathe through my mouth through the mouthpiece. The technique of it sounds really simple. It's just that when i put my face into the water, i tense and i react and i open my mouth and water gets in and i immediately surfaced and cough out the salt water and blow my nose cause inadvertantly, the water would have gone into my nose as well. How? i don't know.

I needed a long while to psyche myself up and to condition my brain to believe that all is well. To breath through the mouthpiece slowly and regularly. To slowly lower my face into the water without choking on my breathing. To count and make sure i breathed in and out. And eventually, i imagined Darth Vader's breathing pattern through his mask.

And in the midst of all this, colin steps on a black sea urchin, which we shall call Ivan's cousin (you know Ivan? the red sea urchin from "Surf's Up"?)

so, there i was floating alone in the sea while colin slaps his foot with his slipper to crush the urchin leftovers. Maybe it turned out good that i was alone. So i could take my own sweet time getting used to the water and breathing. Eventually, i just floated around to look under the sea.

Unfortunately, because i wear glasses and the mask obviously does not have any corrective power, i was half blind. I could see fish swimming around me but it was all pretty blurry. I thought it was the sea but i could see the fish clearer when i'm on shore with my glasses on! But i could see the sea urchins pretty clearly. A mild panic there cause i didn't want to suffer the same fate as colin and so i tried to move away as quickly as i could. And ended up near the jetty pillars and if colin didn't tell me, i would have backed straight into them :-P

I couldn't see the morey eel that was hiding in the artificial reef. why? cause no glasses. sigh.. oh well.

We were the last to leave the water because it was already getting dark. And it's freezing when we're on shore... brrr....

So, that's my snorkelling experience. Something new this year :)

God is very good and blessed us with a clear starry night that night with the cresent moon over the sea and the sea reflecting the moonlight. That was absolutely lovely. All glory to God. Amen.

seeking inspiration

2007-10-11T09:49:00.000+08:00

thought i should write more -- to keep this skill refined as i find myself writing less and less these days.

i used to keep a diary since i was about 13. it started with very simple details of what i've done that day. Of course, it was all very top secret

my older sister used to write diaries when she was a teen too and i was still in primary school. Of course i knew where she kept the diary and i'd creep to the table and read it when she's not home! such a terrible sister! she'd find out and complain to my mother. hahaha! i don't remember getting punished for it though. But even after that, she'd still keep the diary in the same place and i'd keep going there to read it! Can't remember anything of it now but the secrecy of the situation and the temptation to defy the prohibited was too much to resist *wicked smile*

i don't think anyone writes diaries now. It's all online and it's called blogs. I guess that's why it's difficult to get youths (and adults) to write their journals - to record prayers, God's blessings, etc. Journalling is a great discipline to record our thoughts and emotions and most importantly, to see the hand of God working. I was so disciplined when i was in school (and so naively obedient - which is a good thing. As Jesus said, the kingdom of God belongs to the children) - to separate my prayer journal to two columns and write down my prayers. Then to look back once in a while and write in the next column the way God had answered. It's an incredible faith-growing mechanism. To track and visibly see the hand of God working is staggering! There were some "no" answers or "not yet", and so, i kept praying. Sad that i gave that up.

These days, I still keep a journal which i do not update as frequently as i should. Possibly just lazy and it's meant to record the daily devotional thoughts. So, the frequency of entries shows the frequency of me spending quality & private time with Jesus. The times when i rush through devotions, nothing is recorded. It's when i sit before the LORD and commune with Him that i have the time and frame of mind to write and record it. Jesus' words to Martha when He lovingly calls her name twice and says oh-so-lovingly, "you are worried and upset about many things, but one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better , and it will not be taken away from her." (Luke 10:41-42) This passage always touches me cause I tend to get worried about things though by the grace and power of God, i have improved so much! You should have seen me when i first organised the cell group meetings for YF. i was so strung up like a guitar string on the verge of snapping!

My current journal also records significant events and it functions too like a mini scrapbook - i'd stick tickets to important / meaningful events, etc. It's lovely to turn the pages and look back at it. I guess that's the strong point of an actual journal with pages compared to a blog on the screen. It's the sense of touch that gives it a greater sense of reality and substance. Like an actual Bible in hand makes it more real compared to a bible software in a PDA/phone. The weight and history of God's Word weighs heavier (literally!) in bounded paper :)

okay, inspiration has evaporated, so i'd stop now.

wen min is out of hospital today, praise God! She's about 2 inches taller :)

just juice

2007-10-09T16:48:00.000+08:00

i used to drink that in NZ. that was THE juice to buy. I see it here too but kinda expensive, so i'd buy it only very rarely. Well, the Peel Fresh ones are good too and cheaper (i think) so that's ok. I love the aloe vera bits in the Peel Fresh juices *chew chew* yumm...

So in line with Just Juice, this is just me.

Selfish one may say? a webpage all about me??? well, that's what most blogs are about isn't it? About how i feel, what i like, what's been happening in my life...

i hadn't blogged regularly for awhile, as you can see in my xanga site. i remember when i initially started blogging and asked myself what is the purpose? i mean, who would read it anyway? but after awhile, i discovered people DO read it. Then i ask myself, is it my obligation to continue so that it won't be a waste of time for them when they check on the site and there's nothing new?

On the other hand, i do check on other people's blogs and appreciate those who blog regularly cause i get to indirectly catch up on them. And when i leave a comment, to show them that i've read it and just to show a little appreciation for their effort and for bearing their souls, so to speak.

Yet, i still wonder though, that blogs would be like me talking to a wall; or talking to my stuff animals when i was a kid. I did that quite a bit as a kid cause there was no one really to talk to. Maybe that's why i don't open up to people often / easily. Reserved, as Uncle Paul calls me :)

while i was in xanga, i sort of had some audience in mind - i.e. mostly the youth since i only knew youth bloggers then. As time passed, i discovered more people who blog and the different purposes which they use the blog for. Especially in sharing their views about current events.

that was then, and this is now (digression: never read the book of the same title by SE Hinton though i had always wanted to. i so loved "The Outsiders". everyone should read it)

maybe now i would be more "revealing" in a sense... to imagine i'm talking to a wall and be more free with my thoughts
and
be
just me